Many spiritual teachings tell us to have no attachments in order to find happiness; while success guru’s teach us to have strong dreams, build vision boards, and think about our goals regularly. How do you navigate these seemingly conflicting instructions?
You don’t have to choose one or the other–happiness or success. In fact, following both the instruction to build a strong vision of where you are going AND remaining detached will help you achieve both.
How?
The key is to have a goal, but not be so attached to it in the form you have in mind that you are closed to other possibilities. You want to build a picture in your mind that becomes so real you can actually feel the emotions you would feel if it were real right now. And at the same time you hold a relaxed view that if this did not happen it would be to make way for something even better.
Without a dream or vision you have no direction; but with attachment you are trying to force things and are not in the state of allowing–where the real magic happens.
You have to care–but not that much.
To do this you have to cultivate a few beliefs:
- You must believe in your ability to achieve what you are after and be able to stay focused on your desired outcome, even when events and circumstances have not yet lined up.
- You need resilience; knowing if it does not work out you will recover and find something else.
- You want faith in the goodness of the universe that when things sometimes don’t go as you plan that something even better is on its way and this was not the best thing for you.
The live by these beliefs, not merely state them, is hard work but the strength and confidence required to do so can be cultivated. It requires more than anything else self-control–control of your thoughts. Each time doubt arises you have to actively say “No” to that thought and return to ones that reflect the three beliefs you want.
When you hear, “This isn’t meant to be; nothing is going right and it’s not happening fast enough,” you must quickly replace those thoughts with, “I don’t know how this is going to come together but I know it is.” Then ask yourself what is the one thing you can do or learn to help you achieve your goal–right now, today. By moving back into action, you not only prevent those negative thoughts from gaining momentum; you also move closer towards your goal.
Each time you find yourself anxious you have to toss it aside with unabashed confidence knowing this goal is not the only thing you can go after. Remind yourself how capable you are–no matter what happens–to create something you love.
Then when occasionally something happens that makes you decide to let go of a particular dream it is critical you keep your thoughts on the idea that somehow that vision wasn’t the right one to bring you your highest happiness. It is hard in the moment to believe that; but if you think back on other losses and times things did not work out, you almost always can see that you are better off now because of it. Use those memories to keep yourself positive when it is happening in the current moment.
Walking the tightrope of strong dreams and detachment takes practice. The results are the ability to create the life you desire easily and effortlessly!
